You are known and understood by others by what you value which is reflected in your interests and actions, how you spend your time and also in what you say. Oftentimes people will say one thing and do something else. This is called hypocrisy and when someone behaves hypocritically it calls into question what they truly value and helps us see the real importance or priority they place on things. For example, telling your children not to take up smoking while you snuff out your own cigarette tells them that you value smoking more than not smoking, no matter what you say your actions speak louder than your words. These same rules apply to organizations from teams to companies, groups and even countries. Everyone is perceived more by their actions and these actions define their values.  When you live your values, you live with integrity.

“Many of us believe that wrongs aren’t wrong if it’s done by nice people like ourselves. Author Unknown

Recently I saw this article: “CIA shifts focus to killing targets” . The article in the Washington Post declares many things including:

• “The drone program has killed more than 2,000 militants and civilians since 2001.
• The CIA’s Counterterrorism Center, which had 300 employees on the day of the attacks, now exceeds al-Qaeda’s core membership around the globe. With about 2,000 on its staff, the CTC accounts for 10 percent of the agency’s workforce, has designated officers in almost every significant overseas post and controls the CIA’s expanding fleet of drones.
• Even the agency’s analytic branch, which traditionally existed to provide insights to policymakers, has been enlisted in the hunt. About 20 percent of CIA analysts are now “targeters” scanning data for individuals to recruit, arrest or place in the cross­hairs of a drone. The skill is in such demand that the CIA made targeting a designated career track five years ago, meaning analysts can collect raises and promotions without having to leave the targeting field.”

“We have two kinds of morality side by side: one which we preach but do not practice

and another which we practice but seldom preach.” ~Bertrand Russell

As I read this article it sounds to me as if we have become another terrorist organization just like the ones we are hunting. Our country is paying our citizens and even foreign citizens to help find “enemies” to kill or capture. Isn’t this what the terrorists are doing too? They don’t have our level of resources and sophistication so they have to rely less on technology and more on courage, guile and deceit, but wait that’s what we rely on too isn’t it, except we also have the technology.

Does America value terrorism?

One of my values learned as a young boy was the value of human life. I was raised a Catholic, same as my Mother, but my Father was a Methodist and an attorney and his Father-in-Law had been a Methodist Minister. So, I got a lot of morality training from my parents, priests, nuns and teachers as I developed as well as a good understanding and respect for the law. As a child I thought there existed common values shared by all American’s such as a respect for human life, that people were to be considered innocent of a crime until proven guilty in a court of law and judged by their peers. These were important values to me which is why I was so outraged on September 11th, 2001 when the World Trade Center was “bombed” by airplanes commandeered by terrorists. These terrorists were obviously guilty, they were caught in the act and would have been punished if their terrorists acts had not also been a martyrdom to causes they allegedly believed in. ( Perhaps, some of them were simply sociopaths who wanted to kill lots of people or get even.) We’ll never know, but I was glad they had died in the plane crashes along with those others they murdered through their selfish acts of terrorism. I was also supportive of actions to capture those responsible so that they could be tried in a court of law and punished for their crimes as valuable lessons to others who contemplated the commission of terrorist acts. While I supported the effort in Afghanistan to oust the Taliban and Al Qaeda I did not support the invasion of Iraq because it was obvious before the war that it probably had no real basis and sure enough, no weapons of mass destruction or secret plans by Saddam Hussein or direct connections to al-Qaeda were ever found. Now ten years later Osama bin Laden is dead, al-Qaeda is not the p0werhouse we imagined it was or used to be, and there are other terrorists cells, individuals and groups who would also attack symbols of western influence in pursuit of furthering a fundamentalist Islamic regime. While some people say it is not a religious war, that’s blatantly silly. Of course it is a religious war. It is a war against a fundamentalist form of a religion that we in the West find intolerable.

There are fundamentalist forms of Christian religions we also find intolerable but since they are not currently attacking us in the direct, violent confrontations but instead trying to buy greater influence through our somewhat corrupted political processes we tolerate them. Why? Because at heart the powerful know that we are a nation that believes in separation of church and state and although the former might be able to greatly influence the latter it is a difficult process unless we amend the constitution which has been tried off and on, unsuccessfully, since the mid 1800′s. During the Civil War Christian Leaders used the “wrath of God” argument claiming that the Civil War was occurring as punishment for not including a stronger Christian affirmation into our constitution. When we were in the cold war fighting Communism in the 40′s and 50′s it was tried again and also in the 60′s and 90′s. Fortunately, this has never occurred and those who are smart enough to understand why also understand it would be the source of a greater tear in the fabric of our constitution and civilization than a thousand al-Qaeda’s.

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of,

he always declares that it is his duty. ~George Bernard Shaw

How to value or define terrorism?

This has been an ongoing debate leading to no international agreed-upon definition so I’ll use the one from the U. S. Code (Laws) which is paraphrased as:

Terrorism means premeditated, politically motivated violence perpetrated against noncambatant targets by subnational groups or clandestine agents, usually intended to influence an audience.

Noncombatant is interpreted to include, in addition to civilians, military personnel who at the time of the incident are unarmed and/or not on duty.

By our own definition we are not terrorists.  Our “targets” are not noncombatants but sometimes the civilians get in the way or are killed as “collateral damage”.  Using this definition, one could argue that all people killed on 9/11 were “collateral damage” by al-Qaeda as it tried to destroy buildings that were symbols of the Western political and economic influence. We have formed our own justifications for our actions which are fuzzy border lines to rationalize our actions.

By our own actions we may be terrorists.  What values are represented?

Well, for one we demonstrate that America truly does not value human life or the power of the law above  revenge or due process.  Or perhaps, we simply value safety, law and order and our western institutions and influence over these other values which we often profess.  Whatever motivations we claim or values we claim for our behaviors, our actions will speak louder than our words.  We value killing one ‘high-value’ target at the expense of “collateral damage’ in women, children and others who happened to be in the “kill zone”.  And by doing this every day, we strike terror in the hearts of our enemies, civilians and others who happen to live where these enemies live.  We have become the terrorists we deplore but we put a better “spin” on our murders.

The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be. ~Socrates

What’s your story?

Here’s mine:   It never ceases to amaze me how some of the simplest things can be screwed up.  I recently got in my car to leave for an important appointment at 7:00 AM.    I made it about twenty-five feet when I realized I had a flat tire.  Funny, it was fine when I went to bed and parked the car yesterday evening.  Where did the air and nitrogen mixture go?  Yes, it’s a Toyota Corolla so the tires have a mixture of nitrogen.  Why this mixture is necessary I don’t know.   Normal air is about 70% nitrogen so how much more nitrogen does a Toyota Corolla tire need?   I went to remove the donut tire from my trunk and use my jack for the first time since i bought the car in 2010.  This was generally an easy process although removing the jack was more difficult than it should have been as some design engineer had come up with a clever way to hold the jack in the trunk that was very secure as well as invisible.

Eventually, I got the jack loose, raised the car, removed the hub cap and begin to loosen the lug nuts.  Now, anyone that has ever removed a tire knows that loosening the lug nuts is generally the hardest part of the job.  It was so with my Toyota but simply using the jack was a warm-up work-out..  The jack was one of the new screw designs which actually makes it feel like you are somehow really lifting the car while the jack creep upwards.   As perspiration began to appear in the 80 degree, humid morning air I finally got the car up and proceeded to loosen the lug nuts.

Apparently, as a safety precaution, the last person to reinstall the tires after rotating them must have lathered the bolts with superglue before they put the lug nuts back on or perhaps the incredible Hulk is now working at my Toyota Dealer.  Removing the lug nuts was like moving dead trees after a bad storm.  No matter how much weight and muscle you apply it seems as if you just don’t have enough until you are finally red-faced and about to give up when you make some progress.  Perhaps the sweat and tears were dripping on the lug nuts dissolving the superglue.  Each bolt was resistant to removal so I felt like I had defeated an army of five when I finished and thought , this is how a surviving slave-turned-gladiator must felt.  I celebrated by victory by washing my hands and arriving a half hour late for my appointment.

Later, Ken Suter, a friend at TLC Auto Shop tipped me off that Discount Tire generally repairs tires for free and can provide the nitrogen necessary.  So, I attempted to get the free tire repair and stopped at Discount Tire.  They don’t have WiFi so I left my car for an hour and went across the street to an iHop which I learned also does not have WiFi.    (I could have walked a little farther up a hill to a Taco Cabana that does have WiFi but I’m in Lewisville, Texas and it was almost 102 degrees by then.)

The iHop was well air-conditioned.  I ordered a coffee and a dish of ice cream which was advertised as the least expensive dessert for $1.59.  My waiter, who first apologized for a general lack of knowledge about their dessert offerings, asked me if I wanted one, two or three scoops. I asked him how many scoops I got for the $1.59 stated in the menu and he said, “one”.  I said one scoop of Chocolate Ice Cream would be fine.  The service was quick.  Within a couple of minutes he brought me a very small dish which looked like about 80% of a scoop containing vanilla ice cream.  I was underwhelmed with the portion and disappointed that in a choice between Chocolate and Vanilla, and after ordering Chocolate he brought me Vanilla.  I went ahead and ate it because frankly I would be embarrassed for him to let him know he screwed up something so simple, unless he also brought me tea instead of coffee.

Now, I just heard from Discount Tire.  The tire that was flat was an original tire with 33,000 miles on it, lots of tread left but an unusual TACK of some sort had penetrated the inside side wall of the tire and is not repairable, (unless I wanted a slow-leaking tire instead of a flat one).  How does a tire get a tack on the inside of the sidewall of a tire?

After paying for a $92  Kelly Tire of similar value as the original tire that was ruined,  I went home to hide.  It was mid-afternoon and I wasn’t taking any more chances, or so I thought.

Oops, I forgot to pick up a prescription at the Wal Mart pharmacy and it was now 840 PM the same day and they close at 9:00pm.  I rushed to put the dog in the car (we were going to stop at the Dog Park after I picked up the prescription).  The pharmacy did not have my order ready although when I ordered it on the phone I was told it would be ready for pick-up the day before.  According to their records I was using the drug too fast, but I pointed out that the Doctor had told me to double the frequency of the medication and they would work it out with him.  That is not how it works.  After a great deal of huffing and puffing (my usual retail negotiation strategy) along with explaining the mix-up they eventually gave me the prescription and then turned off the  lights and closed the pharmacy.  Trying to negotiate when they are trying to close and go home is probably a good tactic too as well as implying you will definitely die or something if you don’t get this prescription renewed tonight and your dependents will sue them for billions of dollars.

On my way out of the store I fell into a quagmire of sale-priced DVD’s and wasted almost 40 minutes looking at all the great movies I could buy for as little as $5-$10 like Quantum of Solace, Heartbreak Ridge, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, etc., and a bunch of higher priced Blu-Ray movies next to the sale items.  (Smart store marketing).  Finally decided I didn’t really need to buy any more movies.  Unfortunately, it was now too late to go to the dog park so I went home and just walked the dog instead.

Every day we are reborn
Into a universe adorned
With mysteries and lights,
An infinite wealth of sights.
And people just like us
Who need a hug and trust
That we need one too.
So that’s what we should do,
Share God’s love with all
Across our little Earthly ball.
No matter who they are
Or if they be close or far
They are our Sisters and Brothers
Without them we have no others
To share the smell of flowers,
Or stand in soft rain showers,
To walk and simply listen,
Or enjoy a dewdrops glisten.
Each day is another chance
For a world-wide joyous dance.

By Gregg Sterett 06/23/2011

Another view of “sexual addiction is that it is a model to explain ’hypersexuality’, according to Wikipedia these are “sexual urges, behaviors or thoughts that appear extreme in frequency or feel out of one’s control.”   The professionals, i.e. Psychologists, Counselors, Psychiatrists and others are mixed on whether hypersexuality is truly an addiction but they generally propose a 12-Step like program to help people deal with it such as through Sex Addicts Anonymous or a more intensive program involving cognitive behavioral therapy similar to that created to treat Sex Offenders in many states.   Aversion therapy  is another form of treatment where the subject is taught to associate an unpleasant smell such as ammonia, or an actual physical pain with a particular thought or chain of thoughts that they wish to avoid but results here have been mixed.  (Coincidentally, this is  the therapy used in the movie “A Clockwork Orange” which celebrated its 40th anniversary recently, and was used as a futuristic way to reform criminals).

The real problem with most sex addicts or others engaged in hypersexuality  is that they do not realize they have a problem until they get into trouble or their lives take a turn for the worse.  If they had been encouraged to seek help by relatives, friends or colleagues who were aware of some of their activity then perhaps they might be able to avoid later damage to their lives and those around them.   Once discovered, as is the case with Congressman Weiner, it still seems he fails to understand that he has a problem.  This also helps explain why so many other people including celebrities, politicians and others who have been engaged in what might be considered self-destructive sexual behaviors may go for many years before their behavior comes to light.  They didn’t believe they had a problem or they rationalized its existence to themselves (lied to themselves).   Most are usually slow to admit guilt or recognize that they have a need for an intervention in their lives.  While many sex addicts may apologize for their behaviors, it is really only when they recognize they have a problem and seek or are required to get professional help that might be able to change their thinking and with this change their behavior.   While the urge to procreate may be a natural impulse,  it is a thought-based behavior problem when sexual activities lead to self-destructive behaviors or harm others.

Most people who are new to networking think that when they are asked to give a short commercial introduction that they are selling to the room.  This is not the case.  In a commercial introduction you are telling people in a very succinct way:  What problem exists for your targeted ‘ideal’ referral that day.  What solution you provide to solve this problem.  What authority you have to solve this problem; experience, licensing, credentials, education or training  (pick one or two).  Who you are and what is the best way to contact you and lastly, who is the ideal referral you are looking for today (be specific so a name will quickly come to the mind of the listener.  Here is an example:

Problem:  Many small business owners and professionals find that they are too busy to create blogs, feature articles and post on social media websites to help grow their business.

Solution:  As a Virtual Executive Assistant I can do this for them providing reliable, well-written articles that help them get new customers and contacts from internet searches.

Authority:  My name is Gregg Sterett and I have 35 years experience in business in Marketing Communications, Sales, Training and Quality Improvement.

Contact:   My company, Sterett Enterprises LLC of Lewisville, Texas,  has been in business for over two years and is on the web at GreatPeopleWorks.com.  My business cards are in the front of the room.

Ideal Referral:  Today, I’d like a referral to your Dentist or Family Physician.  Please write their name on the back of one of your business cards now, and pass it to me.  Thank you.

Using this approach and following the points in the free networking for book above practically guarantees you will get referrals, but most people will not refer you based on a single, short commercial message.  You must schedule one-on-one meetings with them and build relationships, earning their trust and respect.  Then you will have no trouble gaining networking referrals.

The demands are listed below:

1)  A plan for the discontinuance of fossil fuels usage is to be phased in worldwide over the next ten years by 2021.

2)  A plan for the discontinuance of water pollution with protection and preservation of all fresh water resources world-wide is to begin immediately including the construction of no less than 200 new desalinization plants over the next ten years around the world to produce fresh water from the oceans.

3)  Implementation of a plan to increase the number of wild flowers and an end to deforestation of rain forests and sacred bee habitats worldwide.

4)  Protection of bees by the same laws governing other endangered species.

5)  The creation of protected bee habitats around the world to encourage bee growth and in recognition of their vital role in the growth of fruits and vegetables and pollinating many organisms.

The group also added that they are in no way connected to Apis Apidae Mellifera Scutellata, otherwise known as Killer Bees and that for all intents and purposes they are a peaceful group, seeking only to survive as a benevolent insect producing honey and pollinating a variety of plant life, much of which is eaten by humans.  “We come in peace, and hope to continue our long association and relationship which has existed for over 5,000 years, but honestly, you are screwing up the planet and it just has to stop.”

The Armageddon Gene – This gene was identified in several living people including a  famous Radio Minister who  predicted that the earth would end last  May 21, 2011 (now postponed by God until October) and is believed to have been present in Nostradamus and others who are no longer available for genetic testing.  The gene apparently helps the individual divine the exact dates when the world will end.  The fact that none of them has yet been right is believed to be due to deterioration, radiation exposure and atmospheric degradation over the past 60,000 years in the human genome.  There is a countervailing theory that the Mayans, secluded as they were in the jungles and rain forests, may have avoided deterioration in their genetic abilities and so their predictions will prove  correct and the world will actually end next year in December 2012.

Trump Gene – This particular gene impacts human development by producing offspring that experience delusions of grandeur and chronic bad hair days.

Boehner Gene - This is primarily a gene that becomes dominant in males and causes them to weep uncontrollably  at unexpected times which is desirable when proving that real men do cry but quite embarrassing during the adolescent years.

Roethlisberger-Spitzer-Schwarzenegger-Strauss-Kahn Gene - This gene is quite widespread in the world but usually found in males.  It appears to be related to narcissism often causing men in positions of power to become sexually promiscuous or aggressive at great risk to their own positions and good standing, even to the point of destroying their own careers and families.    Another study has labeled this gene the “caveman” gene, a throwback gene useful in the development of early civilization that has long outlived its usefulness in modern society.

Depp Gene – This is also called the ‘charismatic gene’ one of the more positive genes that many parents may wish to endow to their children.  People with this gene become immensely popular and likeable without much apparent effort on their part.  It is thought to produce some sort of synergy between other gene interactions to inexplicably make these persons desirable to watch and be around.

The J. Lewis-M. Farrow Gene - This is another positive gene that provides a desire and ability in the person to defend, represent and assume a position of great importance  in the pursuit of humanitarian ideals.  Named after Jerry Lewis and Mia Farrow, great humanitarians, this gene has been identified in several other well-know people including  Mother Theresa and Jimmy Carter, but the two scientists who discovered this gene were really big fans of Jerry Lewis comedies and the movie “Rosemary’s Baby”.

The Palin Gene – The gene has been identified in only a few individuals at present but early research show a direct link between this gene and low intelligence.  It is believed that removal of this gene may remove a significant barriers to learning especially pertaining to spatial relationships, memory retention and the ability to learn foreign languages.

Helpful Hybrid Laboratory produced Genes:

Shaquile-André Gene – This is a gene designed to produce extremely tall and large humans, practically giants, with excellent motor skills, a highly competitive nature and an inherent ability to get along well with small children once they come out of hiding.

Madoff-Buffett Gene – This gene was produced to ensure children develop into brilliant investment analysts able to identify and take advantage of sound value-based investment strategies and opportunities or to create their own when none were readily available.

Lewis & Clark-Armstrong-Kirk Gene – This gene creates boys and girls that want to grow up to become an astronaut and go where no man has gone before, make a quick map of it and come back.  If you want your child to work at NASA or the North Korean Space Program someday gene is a must add-on.

Faulkner-Kafka-Shakespeare Gene - This is the gene for literary greatness guaranteed to move children from Mad magazine and Batman comics into serious writing in a variety of genres about subjects too sensitive, so complex, intricate, symbolic and moving that it may take years after their passing for us to really understand what they were talking about.

McCartney-Presley-Dylan Gene- Scientists tell us this was one of their most difficult hybrid genes to manufacture in the laboratory as it was constantly breaking up, reforming and changing.  For awhile they were afraid they had created a virus, but the final gene product guarantees to produce children with unusual musical talents waiting to be unleashed on an unsuspecting world.

As we learn more from Behind the Cell Wall we will continue to update you.

What are the barriers to workforce training today?  Time and money.  Plus, you might be tired of sitting in a boring classroom listening to others corporate war stories?  Maybe you are frustrated with expensive seminars for $400-$600 that give you half the information while an assistant sits at another table selling CD’s, DVD’s and Books with the other half?   Maybe you are in a position of directing training as I once was for 900 people in multiple locations all over the U.S.,  which burns up training budgets faster than you can nuke a burrito in the microwave.  Training costs have continued to climb with air transportation, lodging and lost productivity being major culprits, while training budgets were slashed during the recession.  Even if your employer won’t pay for the skills you need, you can buy them yourself at a low price.  The important consideration here is quality.  These alternatives offer good quality information and training.
Indaba provides training ‘My Way, My Place, My Pace’ meaning it is available in a variety of media from Video’s to MP3′s, White Papers and PDF”s and a variety of exercises over the internet. What is unique is that not only can the learner determine which method is best for him or her at the time (My Way), but they can access their training from any Internet Connection including over the phone (My Place) when and where it is convenient for them and at the rate the learner sets (My Pace). Users have access to course materials for a year or more so they can revisit lessons or download white papers for later reference.  The courses are inexpensive and there is attractive pricing for enterprises solutions.  Indaba also provides administrative structures and pricing so HR and Training Managers can sign up the whole company or just the top Exec’s and monitor their progress and completion of the course materials.  One of the “finds” at Indaba is their Life Coaching course, a valuable course for anyone wishing to follow a goal-oriented life and its low price of $595 for 48 lessons and two years access is a steal compared to what most life coaches charge.  Of course you will need to hold yourself accountable which might be a challenge for some people without a coach, but they can hook you up with a good coach too.
Vital Learning offers video online leadership and management courses and a variety of other training that are very interactive and effective.  Much of their courseware is marketed direct and through a network of consultants and it has a good reputation for teaching those who wish to learn as well as those who were sent to training by Supervisors.  It is has limited downloadable content but the interactivity keeps you paying attention versus trying to read the paper while you pretend to listen.  Videos are  clear and concise in it delivery with just enough repetition to get it.   The pricing is so good ($49 for a 3-4 hour online course) that someone might undervalue it after paying for online university options, but keep in mind these  are specific training modules that focus on skill-building, understanding and usage.  It is still up to the learner to actually practice and  incorporate the skills into your daily or corporate life.  Some of us may need a coach to help us do that while others will have no difficulty integrating their new abilities.
G5 Leadership.com  provides a low access fee $129/year for online attendance at a variety of seminars and “How To” workshops with the several important authors and thinkers such as; Steve Farber (Greater Than Yourself: The Ultimate Lesson In Leadership, a WSJ and USA Today Bestseller;  Marshall Goldsmith,  author of several books including his latest book MOJO which was translated into fourteen languages; or David Allen who Forbes ranked as one of the top five executive coaches in the country.   G5leadership allows people anywhere to see and hear important new ideas and concepts by some of the leading thinkers in leadership and management.  If you find it difficult to tackle books on these subjects, attending an online seminar might be good alternative, at least it will get you thinking about reading the book.  You can also get a VIP Membership for $90 more and get four books a year to make your library look better and impress your peers.  Perhaps you might even read them once your thoughts have been stimulated by a workshop.
The Center for Creative Leadership, creators of The Looking Glass experience, has been providing excellent leadership and management training for over forty years at a variety of facilities around the country.  They also provide a huge selection of eBooks and a low-cost access to their Guidebooks, which are in themselves lessons in leadership and management.   Whether you starting a team or improving your intuitive management skills they have an online book for it and the prices are great.  And, if you can afford to be sent away to training at CCL, their workshops are “stellar”.  Check out their programs here:  http://www.ccl.org/leadership/programs/summaries.aspx
For someone on the run, finding the time to remain a lifelong learner is not always easy but with these kinds of online options and increasingly easier technology, you can squeeze learning into your schedule.  Showing this kind of initiative combined with what you will learn might give you the edge needed to stay put during the next recession or make the difference for that next promotion or new job.

Oftentimes people will tell you their work title or position and assume you will understand what it is that they do.  This often leads to confusion, misunderstandings and incorrect assumptions.   For example, if I said I was a Phlebotomist, or a Manager of Internal Communications or a Black Belt Facilitator, you may or may not guess correctly that I specialize in drawing blood for analysis or transfusion, that I ensure employees in a global corporation understand what is going on within the business, or that I am an expert in the Six Sigma Quality Improvement initiatives.    Some people might walk away thinking you have something to do with fleas, spend a lot of time talking to yourself or are some sort of martial arts instructor.

The Elevator or Cocktail speech is a quick and effective way to communicate your message succinctly and makes a more useful impression which is more easily remembered because it is similar to a story in a highly condensed format.  For example using this approach with the three positions mentioned previously would look something like this:

So, what do you do?

Many hospitals and doctors need people who are especially trained to draw blood for analysis or transfusions and know how to handle blood to avoid contamination.  I am a licensed Phlebotomist who has been providing this service to them for nearly twenty years.

A global corporation needs to be able to communicate effectively on a day-to-day basis with their employees all over the world.  I am a Manager of Internal Communications for such a company  providing systems and processes to keep everyone informed quickly and efficiently in a timely fashion.

Many companies want to launch quality initiatives and increase teamwork within their organizations but do not have any in-house experts.  Well, I have a Six Sigma Black Belt Certification which allows me to provide expert consultation and leadership in getting them started on the right foot.

These methods of introducing one’s self or business products or services is far more effective in getting people to quickly understand what it is that you do and even provides them enough information to refer you or introduce you to someone else who they may already know is in need of your services.  This kind of serendipity or synchronicity is not all that unusual.  Probably one of the reasons it doesn’t happen more often is that people remain vague in describing themselves or provide ambiguous information  like a simple title.   It also shares specific information with the other person which tends to encourage them to share similar information with you so that you might introduce them to someone you know.  This is how the world of networking works.

One of the persons at a recent talk I gave said that they were really not interested in this kind of introduction because they worked at a large corporation and were not looking for networking referrals.  In reality, that is kind of silly.  We all network everyday.  Sometimes it is with a neighbor talking about who built the new fence, or what kind of flowers they are planting, or the name of a good roofer.  We network with co-workers about all kinds of things and very often in a large company it is about who should I put on a team, or talk to about a particular issue or problem, or who is good at a particular task.  Being able to communicate problems and solutions desired is a highly effective way to approach tasks.  Not only do you focus on what is the problem, but you also focus on the desired state you hope to achieve by solving the problem.  This helps you communicate to others in pretty much every situation.

Here’s another example:  Shortly after I moved to Omaha in 1983 I met a man in a small meat market near my house  by asking him if this was a good meat market since I was new in the neighborhood.   He said it was and that his name was Warren.  I told him my name was Gregg.   I never asked him what he did for a living but I thanked him for his advice.  If I had been a better networker at the time I might have asked him, “So, what do you do Warren?”  And he might have started telling me about Berkshire Hathaway who I had never heard of at the time.  Had I been a better networker then, I might have asked his advice on more important matters like investing and be far better off today than I am.  BRK-A the primary stock in Berkshire Hathaway today trades at about 40 times what is was traded for in 1983 and is currently at $119,500 per share.  A 10 share investment of $25,000 in 1983 would be worth about $1.2 million today.

You never know who you might run into at the grocery store, a cocktail party or in the elevator.  Be ready to communicate and listen.

There is a difference between perseverance/determination and critical thinking.  Sometime we might need to say, “This will never happen given the current circumstances”.  Then we can either change the circumstances or give up a futile effort.  And many times giving up is a good thing especially when we are giving up something that is hurting us such as smoking, drinking excessively, eating too much ice cream, banging our head against a wall and so on.   One of my friends says he used to argue with his wife about all kinds of things until he realized that by giving up arguing and accepting she was always right,  he enjoys their relationship much more.

 On my refrigerator in a prominent position is the magnet poster “Never, Never, Never Give Up”.  I am a strong believer in the power of perseverance and determination.   After all, most of my life has been involved in sales and marketing where you learn that ”No” is nearly always the first reaction from a customer.   What that usually means is that you have not uncovered the right needs for your product or service, or there is a drawback or a misunderstanding but you never simply give up when you get a “No”.   Someone from Mary Kay told me that in their training they actually tell you to “Go For the NO!”   The logic is that for every “X” number of ”No’s” you will get a “Yes”, a tribute to perseverance.   That said, I am the perpetual optimist, one of those people who can see the good in everyone and really believes that there is some goodness in everyone.  Some would call this naive or just plain stupid.  As I have aged I suspect some of them might be correct. 

In my many years in sales and marketing management I had employees in whom I could see great potential.  Fortunately, the Vice President to whom I reported at the time helped me understand that much of the potential I saw in other people was in my head and not in theirs.  In other words, sometimes people will simply be incapable of living up to standards that are continually being raised.  This is true in many corporations where there is a conscious intent to continually raise the bar on performance, employee qualifications and so on.  Each time the bar is raised some employees will fall into the category of being incapable of reaching the mark, and as it is raised each year they will fall farther and farther behind.  At some point, someone has to decide to “give up” on reshaping the employee and simply let them go and move on.   In some cases, this might be the best thing that ever happened to them.  This idea of knowing when to give up should be more a matter of critical thinking skills instead of a character defect.   To improve my hiring decisions I learned to use behavioral assessments and I help small businesses make better hiring decisions by improving their hiring process.

 Many people try things they think they will like only to discover they don’t care for them at all.  Sometimes, children do what their parents have encouraged or even steered them into doing only to discover it is not something they enjoy or are very good at doing.  When I first learned to play drums at age 11 I was not very good at it but I kept at it, I practiced and learned to play well,  joined  Band in school and eventually won State Music Festival Awards and even earned money playing.  That was a result of determination but also I was doing something I enjoyed doing.  No one else in my family plays the drums.

This applies to our own efforts.  I love to create, to draw and paint.  I find it relaxing, stimulating and interesting.  I also find it frustrating and futile because most of the things I draw or paint really suck.  I do not have the kind of artistic talent that allows me to create things with my hands but I remain a big admirer and follower of people who can do this.   Lucky for me I gave up on actually doing this which allowed me to move on.  After moving on I found I could create things digitally on a computer using photo-editing and a variety of other software which fully satisfied my creative needs and which I am pretty good at doing.  If I had not given up on painting and drawing I might not have discovered my talents for creating art on a computer combined with photography and other digital media.

A couple of years ago I worked with a Telecommunications company who wanted to market a new product.  It was a phone card with voicemail which used 800 numbers.  People could call your 800 number and their calls could be automatically transferred to another number or they could listen to your voicemail message and leave you a message.  You could also access an 800 number from any phone and retrieve your messages or update your own message.  It was targeted at hospital patients and caretakers who might need to make a lot of calls to family and friends each day to update them on a loved ones condition.  Since HIPPA laws came into being protecting patient privacy you can no longer get this information from the hospital or health care providers.   The company believed in the product as did I.  However, after a year and half the product was discontinued.  It had been made obsolescent by cell phones with voicemail, email services, smart phones and WiFi capabilities for internet connections in hospitals.  It was redundant for most people in the hospital.  We had to give up.  This was a critical thinking business decision.

There is a time for critical thinking, a time for optimism and a time for perseverance and determination.  There is a time for all things including “giving up.”

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